Friday, 10 March 2017

Sleighbells ring

The last day dawned sleety and windy. No new snow had settled overnight And i overheard a man next to the fried eggs and sausage saying it was blowing a gale up top. In a positive move Vicky decided to steal from breakfast for lunch, on the off chance she would come down early. Well, she made me steal it for her. I no longer have any shame in that respect. Ian decided he was going to hire some 'all mountain' skis for the day. Apparently his are rubbish and make him so slow that he hasn't got the top speed for the week on ski tracks. It's all about the skis you see. They all set off and I packed and read and drank coffee and hot chocolate. Back to work next week so a day of nothingness is heaven.  Around 10.30 I got a text from Kathy. All was not well. Poor visibility again and Vicky was having another meltdown on this slope.  Various quotes surfaced afterwards. 'The snow is following me'. 'I wish I could break my leg so the ambulance would take me down'. 'There is snow everywhere'. 'It's all mums fault, I usually look at her and think that if she can do it I can'. She also refused to slide down on her bum or snow plough down between Ian's legs. Ian then tried to hug her to give her support, but she thought he was going to drag her down the slope. Kathy was waiting at the bottom and could hear Ian getting cross. He is so patient. A lady, who had heard her and Chris discussing the problem, asked if they needed the police, thinking vicky was alone.  Her are Chris and Alex coming along.  She also informed me that ian had fallen (again), something about the edges on his 'all mountain' skis not being suitable for all mountains. The fall turned out to be the most spectacular of the holiday, probably of all time. He was following signs saying 'ski here' as that was the only thing he could see, they led him to two big bumps, then into snow about four and foot deep where he lost a ski. He lay there for a long time with only his head sticking out of the snow. Unfortunately Kathy didn't get a photo. First because she was laughing so hard, and then because quote 'I thought he was dead'. The girls also had a coming together getting off a chair lift, but both managed to hold it and ski stylishly off.  I was sitting downstairs at this time and overheard a lady by the hot chocolate saying that the Trassxpress was closed! That's the gondola near our hotel. My thoughts turned to the film where the kids get stuck on the chairlift overnight and some get eaten by wolves. The other option would be the notorious Trass black run. Couldn't see Vicky doing that in a hurry. But if it saved her from wolves? I sipped my hot chocolate. The lady was also telling the manager that her flight was cancelled and could she stay another night. I could cope with that. But later, she was telling someone near the cola machine that she was due to fly via Berlin but the airport was closed due to industrial action. Shame.  Vicky arrived back around lunchtime and we ate our stolen food then took her skis and boots back. The German man in the shop asked us a question which we couldn't catch, so just like us English abroad he spoke slowly and shouted. Who knew it's not just us English who do that.  Kathy arrived back and it was time for us girls to go on a sleigh ride together. We were taken on a bus to a village surrounded by mountains where we loaded onto two horse drawn sleighs. Due to lack of snow they had wheels , but we got blankets and bells. The very big horses took us on a lovely ride through the countryside. At last my promise to Vicky, made in Florence 10 years ago was fulfilled.  I really enjoyed it. Specially because my lovely girls were there too.  Back at the hotel Kathy went to the boot room to get her skis and boots for packing, only to find they weren't there. Together with Ian they went to ask our friend the barman (we did cause him trouble this week) who suggested trying the hire shop. The German shouted slowly that they weren't there, so they went back to the bar for Ian to ask around, Kathy becoming more frantic all the time. It was here that a guy sheepishly approached to say that he may have in fact taken them believing they were his wife's, and packed them away in his case. Relief all round, and earache for the man from his wife!  Vicky had a lovely baked potato for tea Then we watched pointless (another pointless answer by Kathy, on film this time) had tea, and sat at the bar drinking schnapps for a bit (we were in Austria after all). Then to bed, we had an early start of 6.30 So our holiday ended. We were very efficiently picked up and dropped off at the airport where they had separate queues for East Midlands and Manchester (what a novel idea). I am now signing off from Salzburg. Next blog, California.  Bye all

Slush

The penultimate day in Zell am see, and the big snow didn't materialise. It was big slush instead. At our hotel, at the base of the gondola, it was sleeting all day so no new snow settled. The skiers went up as usual early on, but Ian, Chris and Vicky found the conditions too difficult and returned to the hotel before midday. Chris was also nursing a netting injury to his side from the day before. Vicky did ski for long enough to acquire a stalker. On a clear wide run a German man was following closely in her ski-tracks yelling 'Schnell, schnell!'. This was eerily similar to an incident on a summer bobsleigh track in Germany many years ago when me and her were being followed by hells angels screaming the same phrase. Maybe he had a long memory too.  Kathy and Alex soldiered on despite the conditions and Kathy had her best ski day ever, with something just clicking for her. At one point they were battling on when they noticed the piste bashers coming up the slope. Nirvana! They waited till they'd passed then swooped down, the first to ski on perfectly bashed snow. They also noticed a whole class of small children 'skiing' off piste. Only one was still standing, screaming at the top of her voice as she skied out of control. Alex managed to have his customary high speed tumble, kathy deciding he could manage without her help and just abandoning him.  From our hotel Kathy finally returned, leaving Alex alone up the mountain, and we (minus Chris and Alex) had a walk into town. It wasn't nice down there, the sleet turning to rain at the lower altitude. I showed them the lake. We had a quick look, hit the shops for the things we had come for, and got the 71 back up. I had borrowed Chris's lift pass, thus saving e2.40. We got back to find Alex and Chris tucking in to afternoon tea, a very nice sausage casserole. Neither of them had been brave enough to steal from breakfast for lunch like me Kathy and Vicky. We partook as well before watching a pointless episode. One of the proudest moments of my life occurred during this, Kathy got 2 (Two) pointless answers on football. I was really proud when my sister got one, but my own daughter getting two. Well done Kathy. Then we had tea, did a quiz, went to bed. Last day tomorrow and we (that's them not me) are hoping for better conditions. 

Thursday, 9 March 2017

Tumbles, twists and tantrums

After a quiet day yesterday, there was a dramatic turnaround (think Barcelona in the champions league) and today was filled with action and drama. It appeared to be clear up on top so I decided to take a trip up the cable car and meet the rest for lunch at a mountain top restaurant. I pottered about for a bit before getting a text from kathy that all was not well. Apparently vicky had had a fall on a very icy red. The fall had caused her skis to cross and make it difficult for her to stand up. In her place I would have yelled 'hurrah' and slid all the way down on my bum, unfortunately vicky was not allowed to do this. First of all Alex very patiently tried to help by getting her up and telling her that he would help her down. 'I believe in you' he told her. Awwwww! 'Stop believing in me!' Was the reply. So in order to help matters (😄) ian sidestepped up the hill, the distance varying in reports from 50-200m, a long way whatever, and somehow helped her ski down. The run took an estimated 40minutes, with kathy and Chris waiting not so patiently at the bottom. Kathy periodically (around every 2mins) phoning ian to see how it was going.  The evil red Kathy kept me in touch with the situation, and back at the hotel I had a little tune by Frank Sinatra playing in my head. At last it was decided that the meeting at the top could still take place as vicky was down and they could make it on time. I donned my winter woolies and ascended the gondola. It was a lovely, long, trip up, and I remembered why I didn't like skiing. Some of those runs looked frightening. But the views from the top were absolutely stunning.  The meeting occurred as planned and we ate in the panorama restaurant, with a guy playing typical Austrian tunes on a harmonica. I had goulash and Gluwein, which I had been looking for all week. This is the view from outside the panorama restaurant Kathy informed me that her and Ian had skied the notorious Trass black run that morning (seems to me that all black runs are notorious in order to big them up) and wants me to let everyone know that her daddy abandoned her half way up  See, it is 70% and 4km long.  Kathy also valiantly (her words) saved a woman who had fallen and couldn't get back up. Apparently she usually just skis round fallers but this woman had commented on how nice her panda hat was. Chris is not so nice, he skied over to a fallen child, looked down his nose at him, then left him in the snow.  After lunch I took a few photos of the skiers before they took off again, then walked up the hill a bit following the 'vinter valkerspath' or something like that, to look at the fabulous views some more. I took the gondola back down again alone, and then things stated hotting up on the mountain. The incident voted 'top fun thing of the holiday so far' occurred soon after. Alex and Chris went off to do fun jumpy things leaving Ian, Kathy and Vicky to ski some gentle blues. But as we all know, Vicky has become incapable (since Sunday 5th March 2017) of getting off a chairlift without assistance. Alex has been her rock, believing in her totally yet giving her a big shove at the same time. But Alex was no longer available, so Ian promised he would do the shoving. We all know that was never going to happen. So vicky found herself in a panic with no assistance whatsoever. Not only that, the person next to her had put his great clumpy skis on her delicate snowploughed ones. She lashed out and shoved the oaf over, the oaf being Ian of course. He sprawled out in front of the oncoming chairlift with only one ski on, they even had to slow it down to give him time to clear the way. Kathy and vicky are still laughing now!  
 As you remember, Chris and Alex had gone off to do jumpy things. Chris was forced to the side by a boarder not looking where he was going and had a spectacular skis off tumble, he was caught in the net like a little fish and sprained his thumb in the process.  The damage to the netting was done by Chris. The snow boarder is long gone.  
Alex helped pick Chris up and put him back together and Immediately after that took a fall himself. Coming up a jump the tips of his skis got stuck in the snow and he pitched headlong forward losing both skis. Impressive.  Eventually they all made their weary way back down, what else could go wrong you ask yourself. Well remember, kathy is here. Her and vicky could not manage to open the door to the boot room from the outside until a nice man pushed it open for them. No one knows how but Kathy managed to trap her finger leaving a giant blood blister and a nasty sore finger nail.  So, a fun packed day all round. We had afternoon tea, a pointless viewing, dinner, you know the score. We were all too tired for charades today so chatted a bit then went to bed. There's big snow forecast for tomorrow, but it can't be as exciting as today. Oh, and the Frank Sinatra song. It's where me and vicky will be going next year instead of this pesky skiing, and the name of the best football stadium in the land.    

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

Snow

We woke to heavy snow. They were those big fat snowflakes and everywhere was covered. It didn't let up during breakfast and was getting quite deep. Exciting for both the skiers and the walker. We finished up and the skiers headed for the slopes while I donned my moon boots and headed into town. 







It was lovely up at the top but by the time I got down to the lake it was mostly slush. I had yet another good look round town managing to find an eyeless soft toy for misty. Then as it had started to snow again I decided to take the bus back up to the hotel. I located the small bus station which was packed with skiers heading off to the glacier, and waited for ages for the number 71. The driver was a tyrant ensuring that all boarders had a lift pass or paid so I had to splash out e2.40.  It took around five minutes to get back to the gondola, a lot quicker than me huffing and puffing up the hill.

The skiers were very late returning and afternoon tea was almost over but we did manage to catch a few cakes. They'd had a good day all round with Kathy once more doing a bit of off pisting, and taken lots more great photos.




We watched a pointless episode, had tea, played Charades, and took a passing interest in Rotherham's latest defeat before heading to bed. No snow forecast for tomorrow but a whopping 26 cm for Thursday.





Tuesday, 7 March 2017

The glacier

The After the stress and worries of yesterday, today was to prove to be much calmer. The rest set off bright and  early once again for the slopes, whilst I messed about a bit before walking into town. It had snowed overnight and the snow had covered the ice on the lake making it look spectacular.
I shopped around a bit looking for soft toys without beady eyes for Misty, but to no avail, and had a very nice coffee sat outside cafe in the square just people watching. Then I wound my weary way back up the hill to the hotel and chilled for the rest of the afternoon. The rest of the party had a much busier day deciding to ski on the nearby glacier, the Kitzsteinhorn. As we all know glaciers do not melt and so you can pretty much ski on them all year round. This one was rumoured to have a really good skiing conditions. It did involve two buses and several lifts to get there though, meaning the party couldn't start skiing till 10:30 AM. They all agreed it was well worth while though, with perfect snow conditions.
That blue coated person is vicky

I have been given details of a few things that happened while on the glacier and will attempt to relate them now. 

At a bubble lift everyone piled in except Vicky and Alex. Alex was being a gentleman helping Vicky with her skis. He settled them in the outside ski rack before leaping on just as the door closed leaving Vicky behind. The story has a happy ending as she got the next bubble and they were reunited at the top.

Kathy was attempting to use a T-bar lift and got into so much trouble that the man had to slow it right down to child mode before she could get on.

Kathy accidentally skied off piste while leading and everyone else followed thinking she knew where she was going. Of course she didn't and they all had to try and find their way back to the piste again. 

They put Cathy in the lead again while looking for the notorious black mamba run, she missed it. They did all manage to find it again later though.

Ian was wrong! He took the wrong lift meaning everyone had to hike up a slope. A horrible thing in skis.

Chris set the record on Ski Tracks for the holiday at 53.9 mph. 

Alex was 139th fastest of all time on the notorious black mamba on his ski app Strava. He was also second-fastest of the day. Although only three people had attempted it using the app, and the third person had taken 20 minutes. 

And finally everyone left Vicky alone on the red run and she had to descend herself.

It was around 5 PM before they all returned to the hotel and we had a hasty afternoon tea followed by showers and a pointless viewing, followed by dinner and a game of charades for which I had been practising by listening to naughties music. A couple of brandies later it was bedtime. Big snow is forecast for tomorrow so the skiiers needed lots of rest.

Monday, 6 March 2017

Emergency SOS

Ever since the early eighties we have been going skiing, first as a couple then as a family. Ever since the early eighties I have mostly hated it. Don't get me wrong, the views from the top of a mountain are incomparable, and sweeping down a blue run can be exhilarating. The trouble is I am expected to progress. I am expected to start parallel skiing, and hurtling down reds and blacks with abandon before stopping on a sixpence at the bottom in a shower of snow. It has taken me around 30 years to decide that this I cannot do.  I am too afraid.  I wake up in the morning sick with worry, and wondering how soon it is before I can return to the hotel.  So this year I took the executive decision not to ski. I love being on holiday with all my family and staying in a hotel being waited on hand and foot,  so I still wanted to go.  I just wasn't going to ski.
We all got up early, the skiers wanting to get the first lift up,  and arrive down at breakfast around 7:45 AM. I was full of the joys of spring, no skiing for me just a walk into town.  I did go with them to the gondola to see them off.





 Then I took a walk down into town, found the lake  and had a stroll along the banks. 

 It started to rain as I began the long trek back. It took a little longer as it was all uphill, and I was a little worried when two ambulances passed me with their sirens blaring.  But what were the chances?
 I arrived back at the gondola to a buzz from my pocket. Ian, missed call.  Three minutes ago.  Mmmmm.  I immediately called him back. Panic over. Vicky wasn't liking the conditions and was retiring for the day. They were in the gondola on their way back down, so I waited for them to arrive.  Apparently Kathy had told Ian that a red run was not suitable for Vicky but he and misheard and Vicky ended up on it anyway.  She panicked and had to be coaxed down, I know the feeling well. The rain had turned to snow at the top and the big fat flakes falling were beautiful. Vicky and I returned to the hotel while the rest of the party took off to find the snow park where they could do some jumps.

 We had some lunch that I had pilfered from breakfast, and amused ourselves by noticing on the Crystal stalker app that Ian appeared to have arrived back at the gondola while kathy was still at the jumps. That was to prove a crucial piece of information in the panic that followed.
We were both contentedly reading our books when Vicky leapt up and showed me the text that she had just received.

Emergency SOS
Kathy has made an emergency call from this approximate location. You are receiving this message because Kathy has listed you as an emergency contact.

We both immediately started to panic. I tried to phone Ian while Vicky tried to phone kathy, no answer from either. We tried Chris and Alex next, same story. Unsure about what to do next, we rushed down to reception and asked the barman for help. He said he would get the manager and they would phone the police. Still in full panic mode I at tempted to text Ian to see what had happened. It appeared to us from the crystal stalker app that one of the party was in deep trouble and Ian had returned to get help.   The manager appeared just as a text from Ian came through.

We are okay. Kathy telephone incompetence.

 Laughing with relief we aborted the police helicopter and returned to our room shamefaced.  Not long after another text came through from Kathy, this time not only to Vicky but also to me and Rowan back in England.

Emergency SOS
The approximate location of Kathy has changed: http://maps.apple.com/?ll=47.343512,12.756308&q=Location

Vicky quickly messaged Rowan to tell him not to worry, while I asked Ian for clarification of the situation. It appears that her new Iwatch had been sending messages erroneously, all Rowans fault of course. All four of them were busy enjoying the jumps, and generally having fun. It Took an hour or so for mine and Vicky's heart rates to come back down to normal though.  But hey, kathy is kathy.   They did get some amazing photos while out and about.




 Apparently Ian made an absolutely miraculous save to stop himself  falling and exploding into a mass of snow,  involving at various points skiing backwards and On one ski, Kathy took off over a small jump only to find it was a big jump on the other side but landed it perfectly, and Chris and Alex capped off the day by coming down the dangerous, experts only, black run to the hotel.
 Meanwhile Vicky and I back at the hotel were still getting sporadic emergency SOS messages about Cathy, but had become blasé about them.
 We all met up at afternoon tea and ate too much cake before retiring to shower and rest before the evening meal.  All the people in the hotel who knew about Kathy's emergency situation asked about her and were put in the picture.  We played a few games of charades, the ones where we had to sing been particularly hilarious, before I retired to bed to await another non-skiing day.